communication

1. 23 February 2024

   A podcast for two

   A few years ago, I lost a good friend — not to death, but to the kind of slow unravelling that happens when a relationship can't find its way around the same conversational loop. What I wish we'd done…

2. 8 January 2024

   Flying kites 🪁

   Sometimes I need to talk to someone but don't know who to reach out to, or how. This is a protocol I use — if I send you a kite emoji (🪁), it means I'd welcome a chat, but there's no obligation and no…

3. 7 July 2023

   “Written quickly, not perfectly”

   In the last couple of years, I've taken to adding a line to many of my emails: I've written this quickly rather than perfectly. It's a deliberate trade-off — in most cases, I'd rather send three email…

4. 7 July 2023

   Quick questions (and fast answers)

   Sometimes, I ask people questions and don't want comprehensive, well-considered answers. Just a quick "don't know" or a short, specific gut response — not a lengthy, well-considered reply. If I've sen…

5. 16 December 2022

   “Be an asker”

   Some people are askers, some are guessers. I tend to be a guesser and would probably be better off asking more — and I suspect many other people are in the same boat. Guessing is guessing; your guesse…

6. 24 January 2020

   Don’t yuk yums (financial or otherwise)

   Money is emotional, and rarely talked about candidly — which is a recipe for disaster. Borrowing from the sex-positivity frame: who cares what's "normal"? If someone's spending gives them pleasure, do…

7. 8 November 2019

   How to be interesting

   I’m not the most socially skilled person in the world, but I’m a LOT better than I used to be. I’ve been a noddy, I’m still sometimes a noddy, but I’m not always a noddy. Before a social situation I r…

8. 19 September 2017

   Negotiating doesn’t look like you think it does

   Real negotiation looks nothing like the Hollywood version. Most of the work happens before anyone sits down at a table — and the best negotiators often don't look the part at all.